When it all falls apart…

I started this blog with good intentions, but as my life goes forward sometimes the extra activities I try to add don’t always make it.

Recently I’ve been interviewing, internally and externally. I was finally promoted into another department and very excited to start my new role soon. My anxiety issues seem to be limited and not has apparent as other times for this big change. Maybe it’s because I already know I get along with my teammates, my director likes me, and I have already done this job at a lower level, or maybe because of therapy and finally coming into myself.

Now you are probably wondering what the actual hell is falling apart? My marriage.

After recent arguments and the stress of the job I didn’t like, along with grad school, and finding out our beloved cat is diabetic… along with his family’s health issues and other stressors, we lost each other. We didn’t even make it two years before we came crashing down. My take on things is different from his, life is messy and this is all temporary – school will be done in ten months, I already have a new job, the cat needs shots and specific feeding times, which yes is annoying but not doable, and his family is getting care.

I love him and he has reluctantly agreed to couples therapy, I have barely cried, at first it was shock, and then I was mad, I cried a little, and now I’m pulling my boot straps up. Mind you all of these emotions happened in about 12 hours. The arguments in my mind are pretty standard, who’s doing laundry, who will be home for the cat, one of us had a bad day, but then it escalated, it escalated when he tried to back out of a trip we’ve already paid for “he needs time alone”. I was so excited about our pending trip that it was going to be us away from the all the routine bullshit, time to cuddle and date and love… so when this came flying out of his mouth, I broke. I was hoping he’d take it back as he hasn’t called to try to refund his flights yet. He’s standing his ground. We’ve been dealing with so much crap, that we forgot how to communicate, maybe therapy will be good, maybe it will end everything… hope for the best and prepare for the worst right?

As I was Googling Couples Therapy, as one does in a marriage crisis… I went to the Psychology Today site. Seemed reputable and I could search by our city. I contacted two therapists who had offices near our home, the form email only allows you so many words and they tell you to be brief. I reached out with a standard, name, phone, email, and that we are looking for someone who may have later hours or weekend hours to work around both our schedules. Both only wrote back, “What Insurance do you have?”!!! One of them didn’t even write their name or a greeting of any sort!!! So this is what health care has brought us to? We’re not well off, but we’re not poor, both of us have decent jobs for our city (I’m not the new CEO of Uber or anything but I can pay a visit fee) why does our insurance carrier matter more than what could possibly be wrong that we’re reaching out to someone for help? I’m more likely to still see the one who at least wrote a greeting and their name because they are also close in proximity to us, but am apprehensive over the fact that I have this clear feeling you just want money and don’t actually care. It may be that they were screwed over in the past by patients, but maybe a little more than just asking your insurance carrier back would have been ideal to help make a connection.

Is that too much to ask of people, to be human? I’m falling apart, my home is falling apart, I’m reaching out for help and a smidge of compassion would be nice. I doubt a lot of people who are all in the honeymoon stage of marriage reach out to a therapist.

So now I wait to see if they even invest on us based on our insurance, which is super f*cking shitty. So now I’m going to do my makeup put on a brave face and go to work and wait by my phone for a call or email to see if someone is willing to help us.



Ok, but why…

My anxiety leads to all sorts of interesting things, like always having to know the “why”. Why my company does things the way they do them, why practices and procedures aren’t shared. When a company has existed for a long time or even ten years sometimes the “why” isn’t easily answered anymore.

It’s actually funny to me why mission statements aren’t more clear, or what was the mission when it was written, but many people don’t know their own company’s mission statement and this intrigues me. Companies spend a lot of time and money coming up with something that defines them, that no one cares enough to remember.

New hires come on and you give them tasks to do, they are rewarded for memorization. What happens when you tell them the why behind what they are doing? It increases their retention of the task, they may find it frustrating and have an idea of how to make it better. New ideas may be hindered without the why, “How about we try….”, “This is the way it’s done.”

Sometimes the reason is for legal reasons or data capture, or to channel the information elsewhere to offload them. Without telling them “why” we hinder the future of companies.

I have found myself training more and more people these days. I even found out my company doesn’ tell new hires what is it we do, or why we are important. New hires have a lot to remember, some training is more intense than others, but without a clear message of why we even exist is detrimental to our future as a company. I always insist on giving them the “why”. I want to set people up for success, to reap rewards and be the best that they can be. We’re not saving lives but you are important to the company, your role is important, and unless you just stop caring/working you can do great things and make it all better. So why am I the only person teaching the “why”.

Why do you need to know this?

Why does your company exist?

Why do you report to more than one manager?

Why do different managers do different things?

Why do you sit with the people you do?

Why are you important?

Don’t burn it down…

When you decide to jump ship…

So you’ve decided to quit. Maybe for more money, work-life balance, family, career change, etc. but your next step shows who you are a person to your old employer and yourself. I get it, don’t think if someone offered me seven figures and a basket of puppies that I wouldn’t fly to wherever they needed me.

Give your two weeks, even if you know they may let you go right away. Don’t sit in your seat with a very big secret. Your company will also find out where you went to, even before LinkedIn, people talked. Do not give them something to talk about.

Don’t be a dick about it. Whomever you report to will respect you more if you’re straight up and honest. (If your company ends up countering, that’s a win-win!) Just tell them that you received an offer and you think it would be a great opportunity, yeah they may try to talk you out of it, but listen politely and still submit your two weeks.

If you don’t have two weeks. Still, talk to the person you report to but also explain you want to give them two weeks as is custom but that’s not an option for this opportunity. (If moving is involved you may need to cut your time shorter than expected)

DO NOT become a YouTube sensation with balls to the walls, you all suck meltdown. This will not work out for you. Remember how I said people talk? If you are staying in the same industry, there is a very good chance you are 3 degrees away from your new boss without even knowing it. Isn’t that how LinkedIn got so successful in the first place?

DO NOT wipe your laptop and walk out. Could you be more suspicious? Also if you think most companies still can’t retrieve some of that data after a “free downloadable” wiping service…. sorry where was I, I was laughing too hard.

Lastly, you never know where you will end up in the future. You may end up at a company that does business with your ex-company, you may hate your new job and wish to come back (The grass isn’t always greener), or even you may need a reference in the future.

Don’t set the bridge on fire.


Image result for dilbert quitting

“Cold Calls”

Why I don’t believe in cold calls…

Before my fellow sales professionals jump down my throat, please allow me to explain. I don’t believe in TRADITIONAL 1950’s cold calling that still goes on today.

“Hey, Bob, bobby, bob-man! This is Fred, I’m from so-and-so, LLC wanted to hit you up about my services…”

First of all, Bob already hates you.  Second, do your F-ing research!!!

It’s the year 2017, picture the world with computers in our pockets, endless information about publically traded companies and a pretty good amount of private companies on the internet to assist your calls. One step further, the person you wish to connect with probably has a LinkedIn, this profile tells a story, where they came from, interests, it may give away their DiSC (you’ve seen this corporate training right?). Endless amounts of info at your disposal to assist you in your connection.

Networking is great because you get pieces of people at these events and this assists you in your calls. The internet can do the same. Information is out there for the taking, that’s the whole point of LinkedIn. Of course, don’t start a call with “I love pineapple upside down cake too!” (Maybe this could work for a bakery, depending on what your service is.) With that being said if you sell recruiting services and Glassdoor has poor reviews of the company, this could also be your way in. You should be there to assist and help solve a problem, build a lasting relationship.

By all means, if you are in a pyramid scheme please keep cold calling, real sales professionals are judging you anyway, and you make us look better. For the real professionals, it’s time to come into the 21st century. There’s no reason we are still making blind calls, but it happens every day. It also may be why you aren’t successful.

Some companies still have outcall requirements… So Fred gets to keep his job because he gets hung up on 50 times a day but Megan gets her hand slapped (metaphorically) because she had 5 calls, but were all an hour long and is in the process of closing 3 contracts. Which is better for your business?

Why your startup may fail before you begin…

I like to go on interviews for fun especially if I’m sought out. I don’t see it as wasting anyone’s time, valuable information gets shared in these meetings behind closed doors. Market strategy and ideas are very valuable. I recently decided to meet with a startup, and politely declined moving forward in the process before they could even think about moving forward with me. Let me tell you what I learned:

  • Have a strategy: ANY strategy and if your strategy is “warm bodies in seats” this is not a very well thought out strategy. I always ask what the company’s strategy is for whatever year it is and their five-year plan. It’s only fair, I am expected to answer the same question, and it shows you’re interested. When the answer is “We’ll do any thing to fill seats”… STOP! RUNAWAY!
    • First of all that raises flags for me on ethics.
    • You do not have a market strategy? Do you want to be successful?
    • This is also usually a flag for “We’re hoping we get purchased by a larger company.”
  • To truly grow your company you will need top management and sales department recruits. Unless someone is personally invested in your business they probably aren’t going to take the job for less than they make. No matter how much “unlimited commission” you offer. If a person doesn’t negotiate or takes what you are offering:
    • They hate their current job.
    • They lied.
    • They are about to be fired.
    • They are not nearly as good as their resume says.
  • Speaking of pay, your management and sales team is where you need to invest. You already have the product or service now it’s time to convince others they do too. If you expect to offer an entry level salary, you are going to get entry level people.

I salute your endeavors to begin your own company and move out into the world. There are many consulting firms that assist with these projects, I suggest you hire one. You may not have a strategy at first or how you want to introduce your sales cycle but their are people out there, veterans of the marketplace, who are for hire to assist your goals.